richard vodden’s blog

Its that time of year again. Having said that, I don’t know why I did. This time last year I was in Amewicka with my then girlfriend, not about to go to wales. So, having given the game away completely, this weekend brings the excitement of the Harry & Margaret Mortimer Memorial Championship at prestatyn. For those banders of you who have no idea what I am talking about I am refering simply to “Pontins”.

Yes. I get to spend the next 4 days not only in North Wales, but in PONTINS. I am looking forward to it. I promise.

It would appear that my inablility to attend an AGM without becoming a member of a committee continues. I am now the Membership Secretary of Brent Symphony Orchestra.

I am being bugged. What specifically is bugging me is a lack of knowledge. Not generally, but quite specifically. Somebody wrote an opera. I realise that many people have written operas, but this opera there was a small part of in a programme featuring Howard Goodall regarding the most influencial people in 20^th music. It features a hero who I believe is called Denis. It is, at least to some extent, set in a pub. This is, other than the fact that the heroine was wearing a yellow top, is all I know. I can’t remember what it is called, and I can’t remember who wrote it. This is naturally bugging me. I also, given the amount of information which I have available, do not suppose that anyone knows the answer

While pondering the definition of music, and whether or not 4′ and 33″ by John Cage constitutes actual music, or simply an oppertunity to make no noise, I have been listening to Philip Glass whom, it would appear, has managed to produce some amazing music all in the name of minimalism. If any of you have not as yet heard it , I suggest you listen to the sound track to Kundun. It really is superb.

Go on! Live a little.

Today’s blog entry is regarding the effectiveness of frosted windows. Many of us have frosted windows in our bathrooms to ensure that people cannot see our todgers (or other genatailier) while showering. We all assume it works.

HAVE ANY OF YOU CHECKED?

Having observed someone elses frosted panes be ineffective, I suggest that you all check the frosting on your obfuscasion mechanisms. Be warned!

Those of you who know me well will know that I am fundamentally a facilitarian. I believe that people should have the choice to do things wherever possible. This means that I am naturally not in favour of censorship. Freedom of speech is something which I hold very high in my list of values. BUT, as with all things, there must be boundaries. At what point should someone bow to the request to take a link to a picture of a friend aged 11 off their blog?

I have been considering this question at some length today. The request was extremely elloquant. It went something along the lines of “YOU ARE AN EVIL ODIOUS CHILD. REMOVE IT. And you know what I am talking about.” Now, in order to not comply with this I must dissagree with it in some way. I shall deal with it point by point. Firstly, I am accused of being EVIL. Although dictionary.com doesn’t define evil when rendered in all caps, it does provide 5 alternative uses when rendered in a traditional fashion, so I shall seek to dispell these in turn:

1. Characterized by anger or spite; malicious
2. Characterized by or indicating future misfortune
3. Bad or blameworthy by report; infamous
4. Causing ruin, injury, or pain; harmful
5. Morally bad or wrong; wicked

Firstly, I do not believe I was at all spitefull. Cheeky, irritating, damn right annoying yes – spitefull no. Given the way that people say “god, its vodden again”, whenever I walk in a room, I suspect that I will have to conceed the second point, and indeed the third for similar reasons. I do not believe that I cause “ruin injury or pain” or that I am “harmful”, although maybe I have caused damage to people’s livers by encouraging them in ways I shouldn’t. I’ll concede half of that one. Finally, I am definately morally bad and wrong – and I am certainly wicked. That’s 3.5 out of 5. So currently 1 nill to the requestee.

Similarly for “ODIOUS”, dictionary.com provides no use for the capital situation, but does provide a standard definition of “Arousing or meriting strong dislike, aversion, or intense displeasure”. Given that my flat mate yesterday said that “The only thing uglier than your mum is you”, I guess I have to conceed that also, which is making the whole situation slightly desperate and give our anonymous complainant a two point lead.

The final acusation, that of being a child has similarly multiple definitions, which can be viewed here. While I am definately not a person between birth and puberty, or an unborn foetus, I am certainly “One who is childish or immature” and I am definitely a son or daughter – last time I checked I was the former. I do not belong to any tribes however, and the last one I don’t even want to consider. So a third victory for the masked assailent of human rights.

This, at the end of the sentence, leaves me in the rather sore position of being three nill down with no gameplay left. That is, with the notable exception of the final sentence. “REMOVE IT”. I am tempted to request a further definition of the word “IT” but given I described, in reasonable detail, what “IT” is in the first paragraph and I don’t wish to edit it, that card is no longer available. So. You win. The link has been removed from my blog.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been that sarcastic before, I do hope it continues.

For all those who didn’t know, here is a fairly detailed account of what is a typical piece of Ebuyer trading. I suggest an official boycot with one caveat – we don’t end up on watchdog.